Monday, September 11, 2006

Sad and sickened

There is a sickening feeling of despair with the world in the pit of my stomach today. I am discovering that a natural empathy seems to exist between victims and survivors of terrorist attacks. When I read the papers, watch the news or immerse myself in the plethora of documentaries which have been shown in the run up to this anniversary, there is, this year, a personal connection.

I am angry and sad and I cannot concentrate on a thing, I wasn’t expecting to be so affected by today. I know no-one directly affected in the attacks of 9/11, however my experiences over this past year make me feel as if I do. I may not know the people but I can start to feel their pain. I think it is having an understanding off the suffering which adds to the anger. I cannot begin to imagine what many have been through but I know better than I did a year ago. It is that knowledge which brings tears to my eyes as I listen to and watch the individual stories of courage and pain.

I feel angry at the wasted lives and those lived in terror and mourning around the world. I am sick with the powers that be who thought they knew better than the men on the street. Osama Bin Laden is sitting pretty as the west does his work for him. Meanwhile there is suffering and death around the world on a scale which fills me with shame.

Today it is hitting me hard, the anger, the sorrow and the helplessness to do anything about it. I do not like this world today, I feel scared and sick and I want to run away from it all.