Bright lights on Sky

I largely ducked out of the media glare when the report was published last Friday. I can’t take any more time off work, every time I so much as breathe the numbers seven and seven another day mysteriously vanishes from my annual leave. Suddenly I only have 3 days left, so Friday had to be spent at work.

Sky News however, assured me they could interview me live in the morning and still get me to the office on time. So bright and early they picked me up and whisked me to their Millbank studio. As I peered through the door of the largely empty office space a few heads popped up, checked me out and went back to their screens. Who am I after all? I walked into the room and as I looked down (for she is far more diminished in stature than me) I saw Tessa Jowell, flanked by an entourage, walking towards me. She threw me a slightly more frosty smile than her usual caring look of sympathy. No wonder, I was hot on her heels and she knows I am not their greatest fan. But still, she managed a smile and said ‘hello’, I returned the look with a cheery ‘Hi’. Almost instantaneously those heads which had previously ignored me, sprang up from their desks, greeted me warmly, offered me coffee, a seat and a stack of newspapers.

As I wandered over to the seats by the studio door, I noticed an elderly looking man sitting by the window and waiting. He leant over as I approached and welcomed me like an old friend. ‘So what are you here to bang on about then?’ he asked. I stumbled with my words and muttered ‘Oh the 7th July’. It was Tony Benn!

He opened the window, sparked up his pipe and said ‘Ah yes, Tessa Jowell was just here’. ‘Yes’ I replied ‘I saw her as I came in. So what did she have to say for herself?’ ‘Oh God knows’ he said ‘I didn’t listen to a word!’