There's a moose loose aboot this hoose
I don't like mice, they are vermin. I live on my own, I have no pets, If I want company I invite it round. If you're not invited you're not welcome. Suddenly mice seem to be everywhere. I went to a friend's for dinner on Friday night, she's just bought a cat, she's had enough of the invasion of the mice every winter. She already has 2 kids, the cat is number 3. It sleeps with a hot water bottle.
I hate cats even more than I hate mice, so that's not an option. Then I was on the bus and overheard a girl talking on the phone to her friend, I could hear her sqealing down the phone, she had mice. 'Call pest control' her friend said. I did that once before whan I had mice many years ago. Mr pest control turned up in a boiler suit, went into the kitchen and shut the door. He said it was best we didn't see what he was about to do. He came out a few minutes later with a plastic bag and blood down the front of his boiler suit. So that's not very appealing either.
My brother started telling me about humane traps. What am I supposed to do, collect them in a cage and when I've got about 20 of them drive out into the country & set them free, only to invade someone else's privacy with their scurrying, squeaking and shitting. No, I need to kill them 'the fuckers will rue the day'........(I've always wanted an excse to say that). Traps are no good, I'm too squeamish, I would faint if I had to touch a dead, bloodied mouse. So poison it is. So far so good.....
This unfortunate fellow, on the otherhand, went for a much more dramatic solution, sadly I think he will rue the day, but I guess the fuckers did too.
'Mouse burns down house in revenge
By Catherine Elsworth in Los Angeles
A mouse wreaked revenge on a pensioner who tried to kill it by tossing it on to a bonfire. It scuttled back into the man's house and set the building ablaze.
Luciano Mares, 81, had been bothered by mice, so when he trapped the creature in his home he was determined to dispose of it.
"I had some leaves burning outside and threw it in the fire," said Mr Mares, of Fort Sumner, a village in New Mexico.
As planned, the mouse caught fire. But then it suddenly sprinted back towards the wooden house and ran beneath a window.
The fire, which took the efforts of 13 firemen over three hours to extinguish, destroyed the entire contents of the house.
Mr Mares is now staying at a local motel.'