Thursday, February 02, 2006

Retail therapy rocks!

I've got to stop this shopping thing. I've been doing it for months now. You see I have the perfect excuse....I deserve it, it cheers me up! After everything I've been through, I tell myself, I deserve a new handbag, a girl can never have enough shoes, a bit of indulgence is good for the soul.

It works for a while, but it only takes a few days for the new top to be old. I've acquired so many new clothes I haven't even found the time or occasion to wear them all. But still I keep shopping. Tonight I hit late night Oxford Street, I purchased my 3rd pair of jeans in as many months. I am too scared to count how many pairs I have. It is materialism in the extreme and deep down I feel ashamed.

If the old, my tube was bombed, excuse starts to wear thin, I have another one up my sleeve. I have lost weight. That one never fails, it is practical and necessary. I have had so many extra holes punched in my belts that the cobbler is starting to give me funny looks. He probably thinks I have an eating disorder. How wrong he is, I have PTSD.

I don't completely understand how PTSD causes weight loss, but I have to admit, it is one of the symptoms I am quite enjoying. I haven't been this thin for years. My bosses keep telling me I'm underweight, but they're just jealous, they have been on the Atkins diet for 3 years and you wouldn't know.

Whilst I was off work for 2 months I ran like a woman possessed. Even if I achieved nothing in a day, I had to go running, it became my salvation, and I guess my calorie burner at the same time. I was doing it to keep sane, not to get skinny, but it's a welcome bonus.

So I am determined to enjoy this new slender me. I am going to wear skinny jeans for as long as I can. When I told my mum that none of my clothes fitted me any more she replied, as only mothers can, 'don't throw them away, you'll put it all back on again when you get better'. Maybe she's right but I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts. I might feel like crap but at least I look good!